Heat Wave.

Head over to PopMatters and read my review for My Week with Marilyn.

Oscar Leap Recap.

As usual the Oscars were an almost instantly forgettable affair. Billy Crystal did a decent, albeit extremely safe, hosting job and everyone and their grandmother knew that The Artist would win the top awards, so that gave the whole affair a slightly dull mood. Here are my fave bits in chronological order:

Queen Meryl, who had a great surprise in store, was on her usual wonderful mood. She is always such a good sport, even when she must suffer through some real humiliations, like having Sandra Bullock defeat her.

Cameron Diaz and J. Lo epitomized silly fun when they presented the make-up award. In all honesty though, I had no idea that Cam's behind was so, well, ample. 

Meryl being a sport for her The Iron Lady make-up team...

This was the second best win of the night. A complete surprise too, considering it actually deserved to win!

The Christopher Guest troupe was all sorts of brilliant and I couldn't help but wonder what are people waiting to have Eugene Levy play Marty in a biopic.

My favorite part about Dragon Tattoo winning Best Editing was to have the orchestra play the shoulda-been-a-winner score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross.

This bit was slightly ridiculous but Gwynnie was Carole Lombard brilliant, proving that you can be funny and still look like a goddess.

Speaking of goddesses, I demand to get on whatever Emma Stone was on when she presented her award. She was such a joy to watch! She should've hosted the whole thing!

Isn't Kenneth Branagh the cutest?

No wait, isn't Uggie the cutest?

Ugh NO, wait, isn't Bret McKenzie the cutest?

Y'all know I can't stand Angelina Jolie most of the time, which is why I loved that Jim Rash mocked her ridiculous leg move right after she presented him with his Oscar. I'm sure he was exiled from Hollywood the following morning but his, well, rash move injected the event with an oh-no-he-didn't rush of joy.

Woody won!

I hope the Scorsese drinking game goes on for as long as the world exists.

Le sigh...

Rooney Mara won in my heart and I love that her clip was the most risky Oscar has done since I started watching them. Those who say she doesn't "act" should just take a look at hos this angelical creature turns into this:

"I AM insane!"

Her boyfriend looks so supportive! Did you know he's the son of Malcolm McDowell and Mary Steenburgen?

THE moment of the night:

Her "what?" was such a lovely moment. I'm sure she never expected to win again. Well done Queen!

SaBu was rightfully one of the first to stand up and applaud the great Streep!

God knows I love Glenn Close (I'm a Patty Hewes wannabe) but Meryl has always had more of a movie star quality that she's always lacked. It was pleasant, if a bit heartbreaking, to see her become one of the all-time biggest losers.

Michel Hazanavicius and Bérénice Bejo are the new Brangelina, right? OK not really, but they exude old-world class in a way the other two will never do.

Gotta love Rooney's mischievous look.

And for those of you who feel I'm devoting too much to Meryl's win, just like her, I say:

"Whatever..."

Long live the Streep! Did you enjoy the Oscars or am I just bringing up bad memories? Had you moved on by now?

Thor ***

Director: Kenneth Branagh

Cast: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman

Stellan Skarsgård, Tom Hiddleston, Kat Dennings, Idris Elba

Renee Russo, Anthony Hopkins,

Superhero movies can be divided into three main kinds: the obnoxiously preachy ones (Watchmen, The Dark Knight), the blissfully entertaining and therefore more memorable ones (Spider-Man 2, X2: X-Men United) and the Daredevil ones (i.e. the worst kind).
Directed with unusual glee and un-selfconscious gravitas by Kenneth Branagh, Thor falls into the second category. Breakthrough star Chris Hemsworth plays Thor, son of the Nordic god Odin (Hopkins) who has maintained peace in the world for millennia. When Thor is about to succeed his father as king of the realm of Asgard (imagine a Pink Floyd album cover turned into an 80s amusement park) they are suddenly attacked by their dormant enemies: the Frost Giants.
After the crisis is averted, Thor, encouraged by his sneaky brother Loki (Hiddleston) goes against his father’s wishes and attacks the Giants’ kingdom: Jotunheim. After learning of his son’s disobedience, Odin has no choice but to strip him of his godly gifts, exile him from Asgard and send him to a place so hideous that he’d spend the rest of eternity trying to ascend back to the heavens: Thor lands in New Mexico.
Lucky for him, his father out of some Shakespearean whim (can’t have Branagh without the Bard) also throws Thor’s mythical hammer Mjolnir to Earth, in the hopes that, sooner than later, his son will regain its power. Thor is discovered by scientist Jane Foster (the absolutely ravishing Portman) and her colleagues Erik Selvig (Skarsgård) and Darcy (a scene stealing Dennings) as they study wormholes and strange storms in the desert.
Like an alien version of Tarzan, Jane has to teach Thor about the ways of the world but in the meantime, watching Hemsworth in all of his brutish glory is a true spectacle. He enters pet shops demanding horses, calls New Mexico a realm and kisses the hands of the delighted ladies. Darcy’s comments about Thor’s undeniable hotness are hilarious (Dennings’ dead pan delivery is comedic wonder) and soon enough Jane has developed a crush on this man from the stars who might just prove her scientific theories right.
The film tries to stress this out a bit too much (people from different worlds learning from each other) without ever realizing that the more it points us to this, the more we’ll question the film’s motives and discrepancies. How many different gods from how many different cultures coexist for example? Or is the film choosing Nordic mythology as the one?
This is why the movie works best when it’s simple fun. The action sequences are done with just the right amount of kitsch (a 50’s inspired robot attacks a small town!) and the characters are interesting enough without being overdone (Hiddleston’s slimy Loki is the right mix of angst and silly comic book evil). Branagh shines in scenes where he gets to make the actors truly act: Hopkins’ Odin is King Lear minus the actual tragedy and the director is kind enough to give comic book enthusiasts a peek at upcoming projects as well as filling the movie with references only some of them will get.
Interestingly enough, with all of its fun and seeming silliness, the film also works as a fascinating study of gender dynamics and homoerotic identification. There is one particular scene in which Thor, who seems ignorant about the attractiveness of his physique, takes his short off revealing a perfectly chiseled torso. Branagh lingers in this moment more than any heterosexual filmmaker would dare to (directors like Nolan for example prefer showing the ugliness of masculinity) and then cuts to reactions of Jane and Darcy who literally open their mouths in disbelief.
However in doing so, Branagh also forces audiences (heterosexual males included) to embrace the beauty of another male body and heck, even admire and envy it.
When the year comes to an end, this will still remain one of the most talked about scenes of the year and if Branagh manages to make strictly heterosexual and even homophobic audiences talk about Hemsworth with the same spark Jane Foster does in the movie, he’ll have achieved something slightly divine.

Valkyrie **

Director: Bryan Singer

Cast: Tom Cruise

Kenneth Branagh, Tom Wilkinson, Carice van Houten

Thomas Kretschmann, Bill Nighy, Terence Stamp, Eddie Izzard

It takes but a slight knowledge of history to know how "Valkyrie" will end. The film chronicles the attempt to kill Adolf Hitler led by Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg (Cruise) on July 20th 1944.

Teaming with high rank members of the German Army Stauffenberg planned a coup that would use the Fuhrer's very own "Operation Valkyrie" to take over Germany and make a truce with the Allies putting an end to World War II.

When the key members of the army are played by character actors like Branagh, Stamp and Nighy the idea of the kind of prestige drama this could amount to would get any film lover salivating.

But when this remarkable team is led by Tom Cruise, it works in a completely different way. Not even attempting to have a German accent, Cruise doesn't make a clown out of von Staffenberg, because we never even get to see past the actor playing him.

Whenever Cruise tries to be serious and muster some sort of gravitas, all we really see is Tom Cruise wearing an eyepatch and trying to kill Hitler.

Rarely has the public perception of an actor affected so much the outcome of an entire movie, but it seems that deep down Cruise has come to terms with the fact that he's a movie star and if you stop taking the film as a serious historical piece and choose to view it as an action thriller the results can be obscenely entertaining.

Singer, who directs like a stock filmmaker under the studio system, just goes with the flow and lets his star shine.

The director's meticulousness is outstanding in the small flashes he let's us see, like the care he has taken in showing us bureaucratic and logistic methods of the era.

Since there is absolutely no regard for character growth and background, scenes with extras and unknown actors in small roles showing the chilling efficiency of the Nazi regime make for a treat.

Singer choreographs the action sequences with just as much care, giving the plot an actual tension even if you know how everything will end.

"Valkyrie" often plays out like an appointed B movie made for propagandistic reasons, after all movie stars were used to draft people during WWII and watching Tom Cruise battling the Nazis, although preposterous and somewhat disrespectful, still is able to engage the audience on a primal level.

When it comes to entertainment "Valkyrie" is an effective, if inconsequential, accomplished mission, as cinema it stays merely as a drill.