The Expendables **

Director: Sylvester Stallone
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Randy Couture
Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Eric Roberts, Mickey Rourke
Steve Austin, David Zayas, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis

It's a who's who of the most famous action stars of the past three decades in The Expendables, a movie so peculiar that you know no coherent plot is necessary to make it work.
Sly plays Barney Ross, the leader of a mercenary team that includes the characters played by Li, Statham, Lundgren and Crews. No character description could make justice to the stereotypes each of them are playing but this is supposed to be part of the fun.
The Expendables, as they name themselves, are hired by a mysterious man (Willis) to overthrow the dictator (Zavas) of the fictitious island of Vilena. Without even knowing who they're actually working for, but with the promise of fresh victims to decapitate, mutilate and several other CGI verbs, the team takes on the mission.
From the moment of its conception it was obvious that this movie wasn't meant for everyone, after all even its title makes a mockery out of the entire thing to declare this isn't the kind of movie that will rack up awards or change the face of acting (although Rourke does display some serious acting that somehow feels funny in the context, after all his character is named Tool...)
However what might disappoint some is the fact that for all the trivia, references and plain tackiness that surrounds it, the movie isn't really that much fun.
The dialogues, as terrible as they are, could've been at least quotable. The action sequences, as demented and gratuitous as they are, could've at least tried to allow us to see what was going on (especially when they had acrobats like Statham and Li at their service).
The film takes itself so seriously that it forgets that we are living in an era where postmodernist riffs on B-movies are sometimes considered works of genius (see everything Quentin Tarantino touches) and instead of trying to deliver this, The Expendables settles for being another bad movie like the ones these actors are used to making.
Think of it as an Ocean's Eleven with more face lifts, steroids and no real sense of humor (except for Statham who single handedly uplifts every scene he's in). There's a scene in a church that should've been iconic but results awkward and feels strangely forced.
When it comes down to basics The Expendables isn't bad enough to be good, clever enough to be subversive or even bad enough to be plain bad, in the end it's just what it is.

Terminator Salvation **

Director: McG
Cast: Christian Bale, Sam Worthington
Common, Anton Yelchin, Bryce Dallas Howard
Helena Bonham Carter, Jane Alezander

The fourth installment in the "Terminator" series begins in the year 2003 where Dr. Serena Kogan (Bonham Carter in full Burton, necrophylia mode) convinces death rown inmate Marcus Wright (Worthington) to donate his body to science. After this "random" prelude we flash forward to 2018 where Judgment Day has taken place and humans are living in hiding under the threat of Skynet and their terminators.
After a Resistance attack, Marcus Wright wakes up and finds himself with no memory of what happened to him after his death. He decides to find answer at Skynet.
John Connor (Bale) is now a leader of the Resistance planning a massive attack on Skynet enterprises. Little does he know that the company has a plan of its own and are trying to kill his yet-to-be father, the young Kyle Reese (Yelchin) who is unaware of being a target.
Before you can say Arnold Schwarzenegger their stories become intertwined and fans of the "Terminator" franchise will hopefully be thrilled to find out new links in the mythology they follow religiously.
For the rest of the audience the film will seem yet another mindless summer blockbuster and that is obviously its biggest flaw.
The characters' history is quite easy to follow, you just need to know "John Connor must die" and disengage all scientific notion of time travelling to get in the film's universe.
This however doesn't justify the fact that the movie feels mostly like a very long prequel to the upcoming sequels.
The film's very existence is impossible to justify as it doesn't add much to what should feel like a saga. You never really care for the characters because early on the filmmakers reassure us that life is expendable if you have time travel and evil machine corporations.
This leaves them time to fill two hours with explosions, all the kinds of robots they can invent (look it's a Motonator!) and references to the previous movies.
The ensemble is mostly uninterested and uninteresting; Bale loves his time in the spotlight and squeezes even the last tough scream and grunt he can get out of a single line of dialogue (is his character dislikable because of the arrogant incident between the actor and the film's cinematographer? It obviously adds a little something to those watching the film), Alexander is cast as one of those "wise and eccentric post apocalyptic priestesses" sci-fi has reserved for respected actresses, Yelchin lacks presence to feel as if his character is important and the underrated Howard is left as an accesory.
The film overall would be a complete miss if it wasn't for the electrifying Worthington who convinces you there is something meaningful going on, at least through his character's eyes.
He turns Marcus into a battlefield of emotions and after a twist (revealed in one of the trailers...) he finds the humanity nobody else in the film ever achieves.
Even when the plot gives him opportunity after opportunity to revel in grandiose moments deemed to be iconic for the franchise (the whole Jesus Christ metaphor is ridiculous and lacks subtlety...crucifixion motives, the whole resurrection issue, John Connor's initials and their connection in the end...) Worthington keeps it down to Earth and visceral. He is this sequel's salvation.