Short Take (Haiku Edition): "A Better Life"

Weitz ain't De Sica
Latino life comes down to
Redemptive white guilt

Grade: ** (only because of Bichir)

SAG Style.

I was busy watching The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo for the third time last night and forgot all about the SAG awards. I loved the winners, so there's that and now let's focus on what really mattered, how everyone looked:

Again, as much as I loved pregnant Natalie Portman, that baby bump robbed us of some magic last year, just look how stunning Natalie looks in this plum Giambatista Valli. Her figure has never been better and the simplicity of the makeup and hair are to die for. 

I have come up with a theory. Every time Meryl Streep looks good she loses at awards shows. It's like they have something against the greatest living actress looking beautiful when she wins...

You want proof o my theory? Should I write a full post on this? Help me decide... 

Anyway she was fantastic in Vivienne Westwood last night.

Marchesa does no wrong when well used. Viola Davis is a true goddess in this flowy Greek inspired dress.

Tilda Swinton is a true vision in this astonishing Lanvin creation, which might just be the exact opposite of the liquid fabric Lanvin she collected her Oscar in. The red lips and hair remind me a bit of Marilyn Monroe and I'm imagining the late genius Derek Jarman doing Marilyn with her...

Is there anyone more adorable than Octavia Spencer? She's looking fierce in this light grey Tadashi Shoji. The high hairdo might be the best we've seen her in so far and the lovely top make her look truly regal.

Oh, actually yes, there is someone more adorable than Octavia, her The Help co-star Jessica Chastain. Want proof of that? Here you go. Anyway, the lovely actress stunned in a blue Calvin Klein that highlighted her upper body in a way she's failed to do recently. Doesn't she look dreamy?

Rose Byrne is gorgeous and this dazzling Elie Saab jumpsuit (and her new bob!) make her look even better! Only someone with real guts can pull off such a daring look on a red carpet. She's ace!

I will keep including Lea Michele in these lineups for as often as she looks completely ridiculous in her extreme posing and affected, almost constipated, in her facial gestures. This Versace dress is awesome, but Lea always manages to cheapen everything with her sluttiness and need to be in the spotlight. Sigh.

The always lovely Emma Stone rocked this Alexander McQueen tea-length dress which pays homage to The Help while reminding us of what a genius McQueen was...that top is SO Lee!

A Valentino red dress seems to be what Michelle Williams needed to finally look alive. She's a picture of joy in this column dress with delicate lace appliqués.

Someone needs to feed Angelina Jolie, she looks cadaverous in this Jenny Packham dress. The gown itself is lovely but Jolie's bracelet looks heavier than her entire body. 

Who were your best dressed at SAG? 

Drive ****

You'll have to go to PopMatters and read my review though.

Volkswagen biggest parking warehouse of the world : truly magnificent and insane car storage place

No, this is not Mukesh Ambani's Antilla, but much bigger than that (this is no one's house, by the way). Volkswagen is a big company and this parking in Germany is like a fantasy world (by that, we mean clean fantasy, no stupid thoughts please)..!
The techniques and intelligence used in this parking are so intense yet simple that one would not believe from a distance that this is actually a glass silo..! So, have a look at this one of the most enthralling and insane building structure of the world which is the 'Volkswagen Car Silo or Parking Space' i.e the biggest car/4 wheeler parking structure of the world. Enjoy the photos.

And on the seventh day...

Style Sunday.

There was a time when Madonna always topped the lists of worst dressed celebrities, during the last seven years or so she has completely turned that upside down and now often pushes the boundaries of style like she did when she began her career. No longer the reason of constant scandal, she has narrowed down her new style to ladylike but aggressive. See this wonderful Marchesa gown for example. The armor-like bodice would've been enough to cause a stir, but the tulle makes it a "look at me" dress and Madge owns ever inch of it.

Few actresses can say they remember what they were wearing when they first were nominated for an Oscar, Jessica Chastain was in Armani Privé, watching their spring show, when she got the call. She already looked like a million bucks! (I hope she goes with Privé to the ceremony as some sort of good luck charm!)

Only Diane Kruger can pull off something like this. The Erdem dress tactfully combines a mini dress with a longer cut in lace. When others would've made it look tacky, Kruger makes it seem positively regal.

What do you think of Madge's fashion evolution? Feeling the love for Kruger or are you tired of her always being in this section?

Sheet-y Saturday

Where we take a look at posters for upcoming features.

Whoever is behind the marketing campaign for Shame most certainly knows what he's doing. Each of the film's posters have been more brilliant than the previous and they all sum up the film's concept without recurring to using Michael Fassbender's face. Take this Hungarian poster for example, the way the title is spelled gives it an instantly erotic level, that's mostly marked because it feels so revolting at the same time. It's sensual and exhibitionist, but it also puts into perspective the character of whoever spewed the title out. Can you help but feel deep empathy for his sorrow? The poster was banned upon its release.

The Woodsman Cometh.

I recently contributed to Dan Stephens' Top 10 Films by compiling a list of Woody Allen's best movies. Click here to read it. Have I left out any of your favorites?

Rainbow Girl.

Head over to PopMatters and read my review for Mildred Pierce, one of the reasons why TV is seriously threatening cinema in terms of artistic value.

Best Facebook timeline covers of Love for Valentines Day

"Love is God"

Isn't it amazing how people find ways of passing their 'useless - anyway' time!! When facebook introduced their timeline feature, some unemployed guys and girls tried to have some fun out of it.
With timeline came FB cover. We got these amazing works from such hopeless people for you (no pun intended, they are amazing pictures).
So, if you have a boy/girl friend, crush, straight/bi anything, these are some love fb covers for you. Put them up, tag your wannabe(s) and have fun (or pun) as he/she will accept or decline you!! So, if you are an expressive lover and a strong believer of Valentines Day then we would strongly recommend you to apply these few best picked Facebook timeline banner photos of love & romance. So, have a look at them, you will surely like them.

The Lawrence Wears Prada.

I refused to give up until finding what designer J. Law wore to this morning's announcement. The result is in the title and I was so enamored by this look that I couldn't wait until Sunday to talk about it. This is a custom made Prada dress from the Spring 2012 collection. Lawrence had it altered to fit with a pencil skirt while keeping the girly, playful top. I love the lemon and baby blue with the black fabric of the skirt and her hair is to die for. Anyway, proceed with your da night!

Best Tree Houses of the world : cool designs for a fun house

With all the unemployment and recession etc., people can't get homes to hide their heads. And we all know that necessity is the mother of innovation (or invention). See, how these amazing tree houses have been carved out as the minds have got nothing to do.
Well, looking at the photographs ourselves, we feel how cool it must be to live in one of those.
Gosh, we need to get jobless!!
Meanwhile, you check out these best designed coolest tree houses of the world and figure out how unemployment has led to great innovations!!

Best love letter ever written : the most romantic and cutest one for her on Valentines Day

Traditional vintage things are among the best mediums to express your feelings and expressions on any occasion and the topic of 'love' is not an exception to this.  A well written letter is worth thousands of words spoken. When it comes to expressing your love for your girlfriend or female partner, nothing can be as effective as a well written love letter which has the power to express even the finest and most hidden inner details of your love which you feel about her. So considering this fact in mind we have brought the most romantic and cutest love letter ever written by a man/boy to his partner or girlfriend. The letter is written in such a manner that it will cherish your relationship for great time and will bring you more and more closer to her. Once you write a letter based on the words or theme of this ideal love letter above, the love meter of your relationship will hit the sky. So, have a look at this love letter for her, though we would highly recommend you to add your special memories and experiences with her in between the letter phrases as it will make it more interesting and valuable to read but if you don't then still it will work very well. This one is a valentines day award winning love letter and has made a record of success.  So have a look at it's image or photo.

My Favorite Things About the Oscar Nods.

Rooney Fucking Mara!
I gasped, squealed with joy and peed my pants a little when her name came after the very deserving Viola Davis. I still wonder what people saw in Glenn Close's ridiculous performance as Albert Nobbs (even SaBu makes more sense in retrospect) but stranger things have happened...
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo got four other nominations and even if it missed out on the big ones (not that David Fincher would care) you all know I live for Best Actress, so this is quite a joy for me.

Other things that made me gleeful and smiley:
- The Tree of Life getting in Best Picture and Best Director.
- Allen, Scorsese AND Malick in for Best Director. In terms of pure auterist class this is the best year for the category since 2001 (with Payne taking the ugly Ron Howard spot)
- Jessica Chastain getting in for The Help.
- Bret McKenzie being an Oscar nominee for The Muppets, even if Sergio Mendes will probably win, considering how Oscar likes to be all "worldly" and "embracing of different cultures".
- Midnight in Paris' Best Art Direction nod, completely unexpected but incredibly deserved.
- J. Edgar failing to earn a single nod. Really Clint, even you need to make an effort sometimes.

and of course...

Jennifer Lawrence looking absolutely radiant! That hair color makes her look luscious! Anyone know who was she wearing?

What were your fave things?

I Have But One Oscar Wish.

A Haiku for "The Darkest Hour".

If aliens invade
Cast and crew of this movie
Should be first to go

Grade: *

Short Take: "War Horse" and "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy"

We get it, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is trying to show us how spying was done in the pre-internet, pre-GPS days, but few espionage thrillers have ever felt as downtrodden and well, lacking in thrills as Tomas Alfredson's adaptation of John LeCarré's novel. Gary Oldman stars as the iconic George Smiley, a British intelligence agent whose methods are as laconic as the underrated actor's ability to insert himself so effortlessly into all his characters.
With extreme attention to detail and an earthy color palette - as well as stylized 70s camera moves - by DP Hoyte Van Hoytema, the film concentrates enough on the surroundings and period details, that it forgets that there's a story to be told, and more importantly as it should be in most spy films, there is a mystery to be solved.
In this case the British suspect there is a Communist mole in their organization, but ask anyone how they solve this and most will come to realize that at some point the movie lost their attention. Its execution is admirable but unless Alfredson was trying to make a point about the dullness of bureaucracy, or deglam crime as David Fincher expertly did in his masterful Zodiac, which he certainly doesn't seem to be doing, the film turns out to be an exercise in dullness in which elegant British actors are killed or double crossed while dressed in uninteresting khaki tones.

Out of all the popular directors from his generation, all of whom claim to be devoted cinephiles, Steven Spielberg seems to be the one who cultivated the most middlebrow taste. If not, ask yourself why of all John Ford's films, he had to choose the tepid How Green Was My Valley as his point of reference for War Horse?
There is nothing wrong with him liking Valley per se but to choose one of Ford's most inferior, albeit award winning, works is the equivalent of being an opera singer and doing Christina Aguilera covers. With that said, War Horse desperately tries to recreate what once was Hollywood's way of filmmaking: interior sets, excessive melodrama and strong family values. Spielberg is either paying tribute to the least challenging productions of an era or writing a guidebook on how to win Academy Awards.
Everything in War Horse feels like it belongs in a different era, and more often than not, it should've stayed there. What once was sweeping, now is obscenely manipulative and as a postmodernist exercise the film doesn't have much to say about the current world.
Human characters are perhaps unnecessary as the movie follows the title horse, named Joey, as he goes from owner to owner, surviving WWI in the process. Because we are asked to devote our attention to an animal, the film gets away with complex character development and tends to rely too much on just how adorable we find Joey. The horse, like some sort of Jesus or Forrest Gump, changes the lives of everyone he touches, which more often than not results in unintentional comedy.
It's truly sad to see actors like Mullan and Arestrup at the service of an equine but by the time when Watson is forced to do her frumpiest Jane Darwell impression, the film reaches new lows in how it so cynically tries to squeeze tears out of its audience.
War Horse should've inspired the old fashioned adjective "jolly", instead it goes all out on the preposterous "mush".

Grades
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy **
War Horse *

Head over to PopMatters and read our list of the Best Movies of 2011. There is NO arguing with the Top 3 but if you want to go right ahead and read my entries, check out numbers 23 and 7. Actually no, read them all!

The Artist ***½

Director: Michel Hazanavicius
Cast: Jean Dujardin, Bérénice Bejo
John Goodman, James Cromwell, Missi Pyle, Penelope Ann Miller
Malcolm McDowell, Beth Grant

The one thing that was truly magical about movies when they first became popular was their immediacy. The fact that they had no spoken dialogues - and important lines were conveyed with title cards - meant that people the world over could digest them in the same way, regardless of what language they spoke and wherever they lived.
The movies values were never universal but at least everyone had the same chance of dissecting them without the undeniable effect language has on them and films had the same opportunity to be enjoyed by global audiences regardless of where they had been made. After sound was introduced, language became both the medium's most innovative technical achievement but also its greatest separator.
Except for that one genius who speaks every language in the world, the movies have lost their universality. Out of all the arts they are the one that perhaps are more affected by translation; whether its English subtitles determining that characters in an American production are speaking the language of Cervantes, or an Italian dubbing of a Japanese samurai movie, translation alters the way in which we decipher the conveyed messages. They challenge our perception of what the world we live in is actually like and more often they not they trick us into accepting societal and anthropological conventions that aren't our own.
We assume that if they're speaking in a way addressed to us, there must be some truth to what they're saying.
The Artist may not have these concepts behind its creation but it's a time appropriate reminder about the effects of globalization. This, almost entirely, silent film directed by Michel Hazanavicius was conveyed as a love letter to Hollywood's Golden Era and as such recurs to title cards and black and white to transport us to another place and time.
The film's story has shades of City Lights, A Star is Born and Singing in the Rain and centers on the life of movie star George Valentin (Dujardin), a silent era god who finds himself out of a job when he refuses to give in to the new "talking pictures". As his own star dims, George sees Peppy Miller's (Bejo) achieve blinding brightness. She becomes an overnight sensation doing the thing he refuses to do, even if the audience can't hear her talk either.
Directed with loving grace and style by Hazanavicius, the film isn't a strict silent film, it takes its visual cues from movies that range from Citizen Kane (look at the ceilings! Dark projection rooms lit by cigarette smoke!) to Sunset Boulevard (even if Cromwell makes a less creepy driver than Erich von Stroheim) and as such it isn't a silent movie as much as it's a greatest hits of the Golden Era flick.
However the film relies too much on the silent gimmick and refuses to create deeper characters; a flaw that must've been obvious from its screenplay, and one that sadly makes it difficult for audiences to connect with the characters because they don't even become archetypes.
To condemn the movie for its shallowness however would be to deny the pleasure that is watching Dujardin light up the screen with his Douglas Fairbanks smile or to surrender to Bejo's It Girl charm. It's no use to pretend you won't be enthralled by the tricks of Uggie the dog either, but upon its sparkly finale the film begs that we go and look out for the films it so meticulously homages.
Hazanavicius has proven to be a superb director of faux nostalgia films, for a less intimidating example check out his OSS 117 (also starring Dujardin) spy films which are James Bond by way of Serge Gainsbourg, and in The Artist he proves his worth as a cinephile with a great eye for symbols, references and masterful visuals.
He also has an adorable sense of humor, with several key moments in The Artist reminding audiences that they are in a silent film. "Why do you refuse to talk?" asks George's preoccupied wife and this elicits laughter in spite of its potential for eye-rolling.
The Artist is a harmless crowdpleaser that aims for the heart often forgetting about the brain. Its entire essence is conveyed in its very first scenes where we see George Valentin anxiously waiting behind the screen to see how the audience reacts to his latest picture. We see the title card announcing his movie had ended, this is followed by a haunting silence - what else could it be followed by - until the camera cuts to the audience who is enraptured and applauding incessantly. The movie selfconsciously invites you to love it or leave it and such sincerity should too be applauded.

The Descendants *½

Director: Alexander Payne
Cast: George Clooney, Shailene Woodley, Amara Miller
Judy Greer, Matthew Lillard, Beau Bridges, Robert Forster
Rob Huebel, Nick Krause

With his rugged handsomeness and sweet puppy eyes, George Clooney has gone from being a "movie star", in that unattainable, gold dusted sense, to becoming the perfect embodiment of the American midlife crisis. In movies like Up in the Air we are asked to suspend our disbelief and consider him not a star but a person: like the rest of us.
Clooney's likability has made this easy, if not entirely convincing and in The Descendants his charm is replaced by suntanned smugness as he plays the ruling patriarch of the Hawaiian King family. He plays Matt, an attorney who also is the sole trustee of a family legacy that owns 25,000 acres of virgin land in the island of Kaua'i.
When the film begins, and we are teased that richer, profounder themes lie ahead, we learn that Matt's family came to own this without making any effort and now, due to a law against perpetuity, they have to get either sell or lose it within the next seven years.
This plot twist suggests that we are about to find ourselves in the midst of a soul search, through which Matt would need to come to terms with his legacy in the midst of the modern world, for who can say they uphold such high values in these days?
The film then becomes something else, as Matt's wife falls in a coma, forcing him to raise his two young daughters: Alexandra (Woodley) and Scottie (Miller). Added to this, Matt begins to learn his wife kept secrets from him, including an affair.
This leaves Matt with no option but to fully become the patriarch his inheritance demands he is, but how can he do it when he's not even in control of his immediate family's life?
Clooney does his best "everyman" act but the film suffers from its imminent vapidity. Why should we care about these people when their problems seem so aristocratic?
The film even jokes when it begins that people think no one in Hawaii has issues but in all honesty can they blame us? When Alexandra learns her mother might die, she isn't in a hospital room but in a pool and when Matt decides to confront his wife's lover (Lillard) he does so through a series of real estate tricks. It's true that some movies have been able to hook and interest us in the lives of kings, queens and the extremely rich, but to try and do so, after hinting at larger themes ahead, isn't only ridiculous, it's an exercise in reverse empathy. Director Payne too, has become a specialist in chronicling the lives of men who can only be described as assholes, as they try to gain the humanity others around them seem to have. In movies like Sideways and About Schmidt, Payne's horrifying heroes have achieved salvation through the help of people around them who have more earthly values (remember Virginia Madsen in Sideways) and there would be nothing wrong if they never achieved it. After all life isn't always perfect and movies should under no circumstances be morality fables. What Payne understood so well in previous movies is that as humans we are flawed and what he does here is try to correct each of them by the time the movie is over. Not only does his practice backfire, it also makes sure we never want to see these people again.

J. Edgar *½

Director: Clint Eastwood
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Armie Hammer, Naomi Watts
Judi Dench, Josh Lucas, Ed Westwick, Jeffrey Donovan, Denis O'Hare

Somewhere between his cross-dressing and legacy as one of the most controversial figures in 20th century history, J. Edgar hoover might have been a fascinating man; however you can't tell this judging by Clint Eastwood's biopic.
Leonardo DiCaprio plays Hoover as a young idealist man, all the way to the eccentric, paranoid creature he turned into towards the end of his life. The film's framing device is having Hoover dictate his biography to several typists (among them Westwick in full Chuck Bass mode), highlighting his feats and hinting at events in his private life that make us wonder if they are part of said framing device or slips in Eastwood's uneven narrative.
Shot in absolute darkness by Tom Stern, who foregoes the chiaro in chiaroscuro, the film feels like if it wants to hide things from us because it's not even sure how to tell them or if it's even allowed to tell them. We see Hoover as a young man taking charge of the newly created Bureau of Investigation, trying to solve crimes as famous as Charles Lindbergh's (Lucas) baby being kidnapped and taking credit for arresting famed gangster John Dillinger.
Throughout the film there's a sense of conflict between the screenplay and the filmed result and this makes sense because the screenplay was written by openly gay writer Dustin Lance Black who, with reason, tries to push the film's gay agenda by stressing out Hoover's infamous love of cross dressing and his strange relationship with Clyde Tolson (Hammer). There is of course nothing wrong with revealing aspects of a public figure that might've been unknown by most people, but to do so when the film being made is an homage to old studio filmmaking only works out in disastrous ways.
You get a sense, because of the film's structure, that every time Hoover's homosexuality is hinted at, Eastwood immediately "denies" it with something more "macho" and has him abuse someone or explode in a political tantrum.
The performances don't really help convey any coherent message either with DiCaprio mumbling his way throughout the running time, Hammer being eaten alive by his ridiculous old age makeup and Dench as Mama Hoover not even trying to come up with a decent American accent in her Shakespearean mama-wolf portrayal.
With its conflicting ideologies, excessive running time and preposterous selfimportance, the only person who comes up truly revealed in J. Edgar is its director, who despite a productive run as one of the most iconic American heroes is revealing signs of sad, albeit expected, senility.

Style Sunday.

Why do I feel like Cate Blanchett hasn't been in movies forever, even if she stole Hanna out of Saoirse Ronan's young porcelain hands? Anyway, because of that feeling, it's elating to see her show up for red carpets. She's truly exquisite in this Givenchy short dress. Not everyone would've been able to pull off all those ruffles with such grace and elegance.

Non-Oscar nominee Elizabeth Olsen will make all those AMPAS members regret not giving her any love for her magnificent turn in Martha Marcy May Marlene if only because she would've made that red carpet shine with her astonishing good taste. Check out the loveliness and simplicity in this Proenza Schouler dress. The pattern matches beautifully with her face and hair color and the black top screams old Hollywood. Sigh.

Miss Cate as much as I do?