Friday, October 31, 2008

My Beautiful Showerette.


Read this story and join me in disapproving of the celibate execs over at Disney who thought a showering Zac Efron in "High School Musical 3" would've been scandalous.
He's legal for crying out loud!
Then again, they might just be thinking about us and saving it all for a gigantic, splendiferous, gargantuan DVD box set.
Considering that the two previous films have come in the shapes of an "Encore Edition", a "Remix Edition" and a "Extended Edition" among others, and more to come, one can only wonder how will they name the one with Zac's extended scene...
The "Bathhouse Fun Edition".
The "Don't Drop the Soap Edition".
The "Can't Stop the Beat(ing) Edition".

Do you think "High School Musical 3" will have a longer life on DVD if they include this? And if so what would you name the edition?

Monday, October 27, 2008

The 7 Things.

Making me suspicious of his knowledge about the freaky list maker in me, Michael of "My Stuff and Cr*p" has tagged me in a meme where one is to reveal seven dark secrets about themselves.
OK maybe dark is too much; it's just about random stuff. Like him, I have chosen to make mine about the movies (as sadly my private life isn't half as fascinating to strangers and would sound more David Lynch than tabloid fodder).
So without further ado, here they are:

1. I hated the 2005 Oscars so much that I was this close to not watching them.
Not only was I an adamant non-supporter of "Brokeback Mountain", but I loathed "Crash" and most of the other nominees (even Best Actress was a turn off for me). None of the Best Picture nominees of the year made my Top Ten of that year, which is a first for me.

2. I know who won the Oscar for Best Picture every year.
Try me. People who know this make me feel like the kid from "Magnolia" sometimes.

3. I simply can not enter a theater if I know the movie has started.
I never take bathroom breaks either and I rarely pause DVDs.

4. Federico Fellini is one (out of three) of my favorite directors ever, but I don't own any of his films and have seen most only once.

5. Contrary to popular belief that I am a robot, I have cried with some movies. But while most of them just make me misty eyed and a bit angsty, only two have made actual tears fall down my cheeks, roll down my face and gave me a runny nose. The distinguished weepies are "Stepmom" and "Out of Africa".

6. I have a few so called "rainy day movies" which I automatically pop into my player when I'm feeling down, they are: "Breakfast at Tiffany's", "Casablanca", "Far From Heaven", "The Wizard of Oz" and "Volver".
They always lift my mood up again.

7. I hate Hilary Swank, but I own "Boys Don't Cry" and "Million Dollar Baby".

...I make you love me, I do.

Go Wildcats!


Curious as to what the hype was all about, I watched "High School Musical" yesterday.
I'd obviously assumed that since it was for children, it was going to be yet another of those prefabricated, easy to digest, instantly forgettable pieces of junk entertainment they're served every day.
It wasn't. For one, it felt refreshing even if it was released two years ago (which in tween entertainment years is like B.C), the music is fun, the characters are appealing (Ahsley Tisdale steals every scene and proves, the blonde, villainous girls always have more fun), but the best part of it all is how it dares to do what very few films do nowadays: unashamedly proclaim they're musicals!
The style is even in the title! (Give me a contemporary musical that showed its style in its trailer...even "Moulin Rouge!" was made to look like camp drama) And still people flock to it! Which makes all those cries of "people hate musicals" completely obsolete.
In fact one of the best things about the script is that it uses this for comedic, meta effect. The plot sometimes revolves around the fact that nobody in school can believe that the jock (Zac Efron) and the geek (Vanessa Hudgens) are auditioning for their high school musical.
And what is the best way to complain about this? A song of course!
Therefore we have basketball teams performing unselfconscious choreographies, entire cafeterias twirling and singing about status quo and an altogether sense of joy that infects anyone watching it. I, for one, can't wait to see the other two now.

Bruce LaBruce Explains War.


Friday, October 24, 2008

Blindness *1/2


Director: Fernando Meirelles
Cast: Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Danny Glover, Gael García Bernal
Alice Braga, Yusuke Iseya, Yoshino Kimura, Don McKellar

"Allegorical poetic films never do work."
- Pauline Kael

In an unnamed city, in an unnamed country, an unnamed man (Iseya) suddenly becomes blind.
His wife (Kimura) rushes him to an ophthalmologist (Ruffalo) who assures him that they will find a cure, or at least an explanation, for whatever caused this.
The following morning the doctor wakes up and realizes he's gone blind as well. During the following days the disease, which becomes known as the "White Sickness", spreads among the population leaving the government no other choice, of course, than to quarantine all the affected and leave them to their own devices until they know how to handle the situation.
Unbeknown to most people is the fact that the doctor's wife (Moore) has inexplicably retained her eyesight and pretends to be blind in order to be with her husband.
She however seems to ignore Erasmus' famous saying and chooses instead to become some sort of slave in what slowly turns into a decaying microcosm.
The blind are left at the mercy of the military who fears becoming infected by the disease and are forced to live in inhuman conditions. Soon a dictatorship is formed in one of the hospital wards, where a man (Bernal) names himself king and takes over food distribution exchanging it for jewelry, money and sexual favors.
As the people adapt to this new life, we are left to wonder what exactly caused it, how will they survive and even more mysterious, what exactly is going on outside the hospital?
Adapted from Nobel Prize winner José Saramago's homonymous novel, "Blindness" is the kind of film that should come with a warning letting us know that allegories and metaphorical laziness are closer than they appear.
Within the pedigree it boasts, it has forgotten that at the core of any artistic experience is the need for identification.
People don't need to agree with art for them to take it as art, what they need is to feel that the author meant to say something and knew how to justify his message.
"Blindness" is so selfconscious of its own didacticism that it forgets to care about itself or the characters in it.
While the idea that anonymity encourages empathy seems to be effective, the problem is that the characters here aren't just missing a backstory, but an identity.
The actors play archetypes instead of characters and they do a bad job because the traits given to them have been so diluted for instant consume that they are left with nothing to work on.
The casting which tries to be all politically correct and United Nations like by having Asian, Hispanic, Black and White characters in the lead roles fails because instead of promoting diversity it encourages racial stereotypes.
Therefore we are left with an exotic Brazilian prostitute (Braga), a wise, weathered black man (Glover in a role that Morgan Freeman could've played in his sleep) and a slightly chauvinistic Asian man (Iseya) all subjugated by the opression of minorities in the hospital scenes and later left to be rescued by the almighty white characters.
Yes, it's true that the people in the film can't see what they all look like, but the audience can and despite cinematographer César Charlone's attempts to emulate the milky blindness of the ill, we remain esentially visual beings and the film's style remains esentially pompous going on humble.
Saramago's book was colloquial and his writing even vulgar to a point, but the way in which his pen spits the words (without even taking the time to punctuate) gave his story an urgency that Meirelle's lethargic interpretation completely misses.
We know all along that at some point of the film something within us is expected to click and make us go "Oh! This isn't so different from the world we're living in", but the moment never comes precisely because not even the director himself seems to have faith in the story he's telling.
It's true that allegories retain an implicit sense of ambiguity, but we must remember that even artistic symbolism springs from a precise sociopolitical and historical context of which this film seems to be unaware.
When referring to the doctor's wife one of the characters expresses how having a "leader with vision" makes them feel safe.
And while the term makes sense during these politically minded times (and almost seems to have been borrowed from some presidential slogan) the same can not be said of Mereilles who takes his film into emotionally drained, intellectually selfindungent roads where it's always the blind leading the blind.
I was shocked and awfully moved after reading this story. Just yesterday I bought myself a copy of "Dreamgirls" (which was on sale) and despite the fact that I don't love the film, Jennifer Hudson has been a constant celebrity crush for me after "Sex and the City" in the summer and her delicious debut album a few weeks ago.
She is one of the only "reality" stars I endorse (not that they give a damn of course), but Jennifer's story is one I can admire because she has the one thing most of the rest lack: true talent.
My condolences and best wishes go out to Ms. Hudson.
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